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Ferrari vs Mehran

Posted by nabeel on March 6, 2009

ferrari-vs-mehran-small

Lahorees are familiar with just three forms of driving…

Off-roading (in the city), cruising on the highway trying to avoid donkey carts going in the opposite direction and last but not least…reckless driving.

Oh and there’s one more…driving in the fast lane at 35 kph which is in fact even more dangerous than reckless driving because it puts the driver at the risk of being murdered.

But let’s not forget that these days hundreds of Lahorees drive around in cars from Porsche, BMW, Mercedes even Ferrari and Aston Martin.

Aston Martin DB9

Aston Martin DB9

Ferrari 360

Ferrari 360

Porsche 911 Carrera 2S

Porsche 911 Carrera 4S

Ford Mustang Shelby GT500

Ford Mustang Shelby GT500

This reminds me of the first time I saw a Ferrari in Lahore, I had to be rushed to the nearest hospital because I had fainted with excitement. Then, coming back from the hospital I saw an Aston Martin DB9 parked next to the Ferrari 360 so I had to be rushed back to the hospital once again. After my second visit to the hospital I thought I had seen enough but guess what…the Ferrari went past me at full throttle with its V8 engine screaming like an F1 car. But I didn’t lose my consciousness this time…I had a HEART ATTACK.

And it got me thinking…a Ferrari 360 can do 300 kph but our roads hardly ever allow 120. That means that even a little 38 horsepower Suzuki Mehran can keep up with the mighty 400 horsepower Ferrari on the motorway. And better still, the Mehran will instantly leave the Ferrari in its dust as soon as they get off the motorway because leaving the motorway means entering the deadly speed-breaker territory, most of which happen to be taller than the Ferrari itself. Some are so tall, you can feel the atmospheric pressure drop as you climb up and then rise again as you come down. I even have a sweet nickname for these speed-breakers but I can’t tell you what it is. And it’s not really that sweet either.

So you see Mehran is not only more practical than a Ferrari but also quicker.

That’s why if I had the job of issuing license plates for cars, I would issue a special golden “Jackass” plate to anyone who has one of these imported exotic cars in Lahore. I mean what’s the point of having a Ferrari when you can’t even keep up with a Mehran in a race???

But there is another form of driving and it is unfamiliar to Lahore-kind.

This form of driving is the reason why names like Ferrari and Porsche exist, and no Mehran has ever seen it for sure. This is the form of driving where you need a racetrack.

nurburgring1

Perhaps I should explain that a racetrack is a road that doesn’t really go anywhere, it has no speed-breakers, donkey carts are not allowed to use it, and you can go as fast as you dare. And it has some really scary high speed twists and turns.

Only trouble is that this magic road doesn’t exist anywhere near Lahore. It doesn’t even exist anywhere in the country.

Wanna know why?

Here’s why…About 8.6 million years ago, Martians came to earth. They marked out the boundaries of Pakistan and then cursed it to make sure no one ever enjoys driving here.

This is the best logical explanation for the fact that no one has ever built a racetrack in Pakistan. I’m not kidding; I even have strong evidence to support my theory.

Indian Formula Rolon

Indian Formula Rolon

Across the eastern border, India is currently hosting four separate motorsport championships on proper racetracks with purpose built formula cars, now that’s more like it. Here are some names if you are interested; Formula LGB Hyundai, FISSME (aka Formula Maruti), Formula Rolon and JK Tyre National racing championship.

Still not convinced? Well even if you only watch PTV and you’ve never heard of Michael Schumacher; you would know that Formula1 is the most prestigious car racing championship in the world. To give you an idea about the success rate of Formula1, theShanghai race circuit built in 2004 cost $300 million to make. And it’s such a money tree that they hope to recover its cost by the year 2014. You do the math.

Now please take a deep breath because what I’m about to tell you might come as a big shock…

India will be hosting a Formula1 race in the year 2011 on the streets of New Delhi. Not to mention that their Formula1 team, Force India debuted back in 2008.

Enough said?

I think it’s time for us to call the Martians back to earth and beg them to lift the unbreakable curse before we become a laughing stock for Indians. Otherwise it’s a possibility that soon you will be offered an unused Ferrari in exchange for your old Mehran. And you will probably say, “No thanks!”

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5 Responses to “Ferrari vs Mehran”

  1. Talisman said

    i could not agree more!!:D:D seriously loved the article!
    and lmao at “jackass”!

  2. tariq said

    What else left to say……so i agree with the cursy thing strategy

  3. Messi said

    Summon the Martians… it is time =)

  4. […] once said in one of my articles, that the reason why no one has ever built a racetrack in Pakistan is because the  Pakistani […]

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